I have none of the things that you have, but since you left me an opening I'll take it

What I did when I got my new bookshelves was use the SMS-1 to look at my system low frequency response and move the crossover point around until it was the best I could get it. Then I used the equalizer in the SMS-1 to flatten the response further. Crossover is at 60Hz in my case.

Set up this way the sub blends so well with the mains that I sometimes forget it's on. I can still shake stuff off the walls but bass isn't the only thing I hear.