Sal right……SH, I have a nightclub act for you.
Loc: The Tropicana Club in Manhattan. See: “I Love Lucy” skits
Stage black with silhouette of Indian woman spotlighted against a full moon.


Ye who love a Outlaws legend, Love the ballads of a prepro,
Speak in tones so clear and lifelike, Scarcely can the ear distinguish
Whether they are (real or Memorex) Listen to this Owners Legend,
To this (Song of Hiawatha’s) prepro!


By the shores of Gitche Gumee, By the shining Big-Sound-Water,
Stood the wigwam of SLL, (Daughter of the Moon), SLL .
Dark behind her rose “Home Theater Forum” Rose the black and gloomy “AVS”,
Bright before her beat the 950 hideout, Beat the clear and sunny 950 hideout
Beat the shining audio Big-Sound-Water. And black box with forest green glow.

All together to the council! Down the Lan’s, o'er the dialup,
Came the Rotels and the Anthens, Came the warriors of the brands
All the owners drawn together And they talked there on the pages,
With their weapons and their war-gear, Wildly glaring at each other;
In their faces stern defiance, (I paid more) and In their hearts (mine is best).

But 950, the Mighty, reminded its owners in compassion,
Leave their wrath and wrangling, as quarrels among the children,
Over them he stretched his charm, To subdue their stubborn battles
To allay their thirst for direct 5.1, And By the shadow of DTS ES
Spake to them with sound majestic As the sound of far-off music,
Falling into perfect placement. Warning. Spake this wise :
"O my owners! Listen to the words of wisdom,
I have given you great connectivity Filled the rooms with wondrous sound,
Left your pockets with some money. To finish off your surround.
Why then will you hunt those others? Weary them with your joy”.
Back to the Hideout came the owners, Or scattered to their distant homes
Content in Audio their quest was buried, no more they post no more they roam