Well I stopped at Staples and I bought a Belkin Serial Cable.
I'm still having problems.

The update kicks off (unlike my previous experience) but it ends with the same exact error message as before.

Steps:
1.) Load updater
2.) Outlaw is plugged in, amber light is on, unit is off
3.) RS232 cable is plugged in
4.) Hex file is specified
5.) Click the reset button with my pen on the back of 1070
6.) Initiate update

Updater status bar begins to progress from left to right and if I recall it's saying "Deleting..." or "Removing..." - something to the effect that it's removing the old firmware or parts of it.

It got through that "phase" and the status bar reset, this time saying "Program..." - after about 20 seconds, it failed saying the old message:

Cannot connect to receiver (rx/tx).

I tried it one more time, and that time around, it went through the "deleting..." phase MUCH slower. The first time it finished the delete phase in about 2 minutes. This second time around, I literally got up, got coffee, showered, told everyone to NOT touch the PC ! Some time later I peeked into the office and the "Cannot connect to receiver (rx/tx)" error was up again.

Should I send the unit to Outlaw to update? I'm moving soon and I need my receiver soon...

Thanks!