Having light in shinning in your eyes is very annoying. It has always been at to top of my list when lighting a room. There are times you can't avoid it without using general lighting with a valance in front of the fixture.

When you tried recessed lighting did you try "Alzak" type cans and trims. An Alzak fixture is one that has the bulb recessed further into the housing and the trim is polished gold or silver. The recessed bulb obviously keep the it from being seen and the polished metal trim reflects the light down better without being seen the way black or white trims will.

There is probably a lighting person here that can explain it better and more accurately than that but this may steer you in another direction.

Brad