Internet Connected Butt Management

Outlaw's new product connects to the internet and analyzes the size and content of your big ole' fat posterior and adjusts your diet accordingly. TAKE THAT, OPRAH!

Internet Connection Bass Management
Internet Component Bass Management
Insure Customers get Best Merchandise

Interconnect Cable

Integrated Complete Bass Management
Integrated Comprehensive Bass Management
Independent Complete Bass Management
Independent Comprehensive Bass Mangement

InfraRed Remote Control Module (ICBM)

Interconnect Compatible Bass Management
Insecure Cubans Buy Missles
Is Caesar Being Murdered?
Incredibly Cute Black Model (much love for Tyra Banks, ya'll)
I'm Caressing Big Melons (still wishfully thinking of Tyra Banks, ya'll!)
Intelligent Children Buy Magazines
Insolent Chihuahuas Bark Madly
Is Christine Baranski Mental?
Is Count Basie Mortified?
Is Catherine Bell Magnificent?
Indian Chief Big Mongoose
Isn't Clint Black Married?
Is Corbin Bernsen Missing?
If Charles Bronson Misses...
It's Comedian Bernie Mack!
Is Clooney Bat Man?
Inches Can't Beat Miles
Imogene Coca Buried Magnets
Ice Cube Becomes Massive
I Carry Buttered Muffins
I Convicted Bob Mitchum (for L. A. Confidential fans)
Inconsiderate Commies Bombed Manhattan!
Illegitimate Children Berate Mothers
I Counsel Brick Masons
I've Consecrated Burning Martyrs
Is Comedy Becoming Mean?

intelligent Complete bass management

Inter-Cable Bass Management
Inter-Channel Bass Management
Infants Consume Breast Milk
Is Cocoa Butter Malleable?

Okay, it's after midnight... TELL US ALREADY! I'M DYING TO KNOW!

NO MORE CALLS, WE HAVE A WINNER!

The Outlaws would like to take this opportunity to thank all fellow Outlaws,
Gunslingers and Deputy Gunslingers who took the time and energy to enter our
"Guess the Product" contest. As of 11:59 PM EDT, April 16, 2001, two things
must have happened: You must have your 2000 tax returns postmarked, and you
must have entered the contest, as the contest closed last night at midnight.
If you didn't do either, it's too late now!

We are pleased to announce that we have a winner. -DTarbox.
Although many of you came close, he was the first of the almost 2000 or so
guesses, (it sure felt like it) to enter the complete and correct name:
INTEGRATED CONTROLLED BASS MANAGER. Congratulations to DTarbox.
We'll be launching an ICBM out to you as soon as they come off the production
line.

With some help from the clue about Page 24 in the May issue of Sound and
Vision many of you correctly guessed that the ICBM is a stand-alone bass
management device for use with DVD Audio or SACD Audio players. As you know,
these players use high-quality analog outputs which are connected to the 'six
channel' inputs on your receiver or processor. Since neither the player or
the processor has bass management, the results can totally degrade the
otherwise remarkable quality of these high resolution formats.

In addition to performing this mandatory function for DVD Audio or SACD, the
ICBM may also substitute for a pre-amps' own bass management circuitry. In
order to preserve the quality of the analog signal, the ICBM employs
audiophile grade components, including state of the art, low-noise, dual
op-amps, metal-film resistors and film capacitors. To enable you to precisely
match the crossover points of your specific speaker complement, the ICBM lets
you set a different crossover point for the front left/right, center, right
surround, left surround and subwoofer channels. (Since we know you're going
to ask, the crossover points are: 40 Hz, 60 Hz, 80 Hz, 100 Hz and 120 Hz).
If that weren't enough, the ICBM is the only bass management device we are
aware of that may be optionally configured to drive stereo subwoofers with
"hard left" and "hard right" derived bass signals.

As to the complete specs, details and pricing, we're going to ask you to hold
on for a few more days as we want to get a little closer to the New York Hi
Fi Show before we reveal anything else about the ICBM. In typical Outlaw
fashion we're still making some final design tweaks and at this point we
really don't want to tip our hand to the competition until we absolutely have
to.

As to the "Best Creative Name for the ICBM" part of the contest we have to
admit that some of you are "way out there!" Reading all the entries was a
very enjoyable task. It was tough to decide but The Outlaws have finally
chosen the entry from DanKaps. His product name was Instant Consensual
Buying Machine. If only we could develop his idea, all of us Outlaws could
retire with mega-millions!


As they say in the Infomercials: BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

The Outlaws truly appreciate the time and effort of so many of you in making
this contest both fun and a success. As a big thank you we have decided to
offer a "runner-up" prize of a $30 discount off the to be announced price on the
ICBM to everyone who entered the contest. You don't need to apply for this or let
us know that you are eligible, as we have the names and e-mail addresses from
the entries. (THE LEGAL STUFF: This discount will be off the final Outlaw price,
and may not be combined with any other discounts or promotions. Sorry, only ONE
discount per customer, regardless of how many times you posted an entry.)
However, it is our way of thanking you all.

STOP THE PRESSES! THE FIRST ONE WAS SO MUCH FUN, LET'S DO ANOTHER CONTEST!

Since the timing of these two products does not allow for an external beta
test, we've decided to use the products that would otherwise be allocated to
the beta for these contests. (PLEASE don't e-mail about a beta for the ICBM
or other products mentioned in this message. We won't be doing one this time
around.)

In order to properly use the ICBM, you'll need something besides the product
itself. However, this contest is the reverse of the last one: This time we're
telling you what the name is, but you need to guess some things about the
product.

The Outlaws cooked this one up while sitting around their chuck wagon one
morning for breakfast. So we decided to name it after the best item on the
menu, "The Short Stack". We'll award a complete Short Stack (but without the
butter and maple syrup - too many calories for the Outlaws these days!) to
the first TWO entrants who correctly describe what The Short Stack is. To win
you need to properly describe the following:

1. The name of the commodity.
2. The number of them in the "Stack".
3. Why they are a "Short Stack".

In the spirit of the Outlaws, we'll also award one Short Stack to the best
comic answer.

Decision of the Outlaws is FINAL, and we cannot be responsible for entries
that are sent by you, but not received by our server and posted on the proper
area of our web site. (Please remember that the user name and password issued
for the Saloon is CASE SENSITIVE, and that is the reason why some entries to
the first contest did not make it to the board.) All entries must be posted
to the Outlaw Saloon discussion board no later than 11:59 PM. PDT, May 1,
2001, or sent by mail to our postal address, with a postmark no later than
the same deadline. Outlaw employees, vendors and their families are not
eligible.

Good luck, partners!