SLL,
In answer to your questions above:

1) the real question is not whether toilet paper rolls grow on the holder, but whether the natural state of the universe is to have the paper roll over the top or fall from the bottom.

2) the man must have the remote. always. otherwise we explode (and i understand it's a real mess to clean up).

3) yes. (some answers don't require a complex explanation.)

4) i have no doubt that a lobotomy would be beneficial for me. when can i sign up for the class?