Lena,

How do you know that your spl meter readings you've taken are correct? Isn't it that -
1 -faith that it was done exactly right, despite a bazillion variables that can't be accounted for?
and
2 -to your ears, you find the surround field now much better than before?

1 -this answers itself. Too many variables to ever trust your results we're accurate (as I would mistrust my own readings for the exact same reasons).

2 -how can you trust what your ears hear now sounds more correct, when you were wrong about trusting what they heard before as more correct?

It sounds like (but correct me if I got it wrong) you 'kept messing' with the levels all the time (or frequently), and now that you have an SPL meter, you've set it to one exact set of levels that also 'to your ears' sounds correct, and now you don't mess with it at all -or 'not much', and then at least you know what the original spl settings are so you can change it back if you want.

I'm more than willing to trust your claim of improvement if this was the situation.

Have you tired to sit dead center (I assume exactly where you spl meter was) and listening to test tones judge for yourself the levels that they should be set at, so that when set -as you tap the 950's remote to quicky cycle through the speakers, they all sound evenly leveled... and then don't mess with that setting and listen to clips of assorted DVD's?

That's what I've done, but right off the bat I flaw my results... since I calibrate at dead center, but watch 100% of all DVD's with my wife next to me -so neither of us are sitting dead center.
How do you account for this in your home? Do you demand center seating at all times or ignore this proven error?

An SPL meter is incapable of correcting this flaw as it is w/ many other flaws that 'real world' just can't be gotten rid of.

I don't 'judge by eyes' my distance setting. I use a tape measure... but again from dead center, ending up flawed as I don't sit dead center when watching movies w/ my wife. I don't find this to be a big deal though.

Just like Gonk's jokes about 'shaving the cat' and all that (though I think that might have just been a 'Freudian slip' in his case -heh). You can't account for all sorts of variables, but you do the best you reasonably can.
I just don't find the methods people use in SPL meter calibration to be reasonably without major flaws.

I submit that my set up being a perfectly symetrical dedicated HT room and L/R speaker placement and only 4.1 is probably much easier to judge by ear than a system of varied speaker distances and several more speakers -which sounds like what your system is like (by your wording of it in your last post). You mentioned varied distances, and I assume you have a 5.1 set up at least, but probably 6/7.1. Just a guess though.

I believe an exact one 'correct setting' does not exist. I also believe that the methods people are using here w/ the rat shack SPL meter are too flawed to be deemed correct IF an exact correct setting existed.

I'd love for someone to prove me wrong. I know I've racked my brain on this issue for years.

Here's something you might like to try... have your husband write down all the (spl meter based) level settings (if you don't have them memorized hopefully). Then have him screw up all the setting so that they're obviously 'outta' wack'.

Then you sit down exactly where you'd put the spl meter and try to set it back to the right levels (using whatever 'variable' you used for the spl meter -950 test tones, Avia, V.E. whatever).
Now write that down and compare the settings.

There's a 99.999% chance the two numbers are diff. of course, but listen to a few diff. DVD's and try to guess which one is which (your husband would have to reset the settings) AND which you feel sounds more correct.
I bet you'll have a VERY hard time deciding -esp. if you're using DVD's with varied surround levels (which just throws the whole thing into an opinion question), and in the end you just CAN'T know you which is more 'correct'.