I'll offer my opinion.

1. The 950 has a pretty solid feature list (see this chart for a comparison of features between the 950 and some alternatives, including some of the Denon AVR 3802's larger siblings). Nothing has every feature, but the 950 gets most of the key ones. The absence of things like headphone jack, phono input, THX certification, or RS-232 connection may affect some people more than others.
2. The settings you've been hearing about are a couple of different issues. First, the time delay -- the surrounds and the surround backs all use the same delay, and there is apparently not a time delay setting for the sub. Some people who are very sensitive to time delay consider these to be a major problem. One member at Home Theater Forum (whose post was lost in the database crash yesterday) did some tests, and found that he found no discernable difference on the surrounds but some difference on the sub (he suggested playing with phase settings on the sub to resolve that problem). Also, the 950 does not save delay and gain settings discretely for each input -- the settings are universal to all inputs. Again, some people currently use separate settings for different sources and are concerned about this. Other people don't want or need the added control. I'm in the latter camp, but depending on your past experience and preference you may be in the former group.
3. the 3802 is not in the chart , but the 4802 is. Looking at Denon's site, the 3802 offers many of the digital decoding options available in the 950. There is a somewhat adjustable crossover in the 3802, but not as flexible as the 950's triple crossover. The 950 offers more digital inputs (an extra coaxial and an extra optical), but is otherwise very similar as far as I/O is concerned. The 950 offers "sound quality" that, based on beta tester feedback, is on par with and even better than the Denon 5700, so you're looking at spending some more to get a better sounding system. Separates also offers two of the inherent separates benefits: upgrade flexibility and separation of the power amplification gear from the processing hardware -- if there is a new, wonderful super-duper surround scheme that makes both the 950 and the 3802 obsolete you could replace the 950 with a new pre/pro and not have to invest in new amplification, and the separate pre/pro and amp are better than a receiver at keeping the more delicate electronics of pre-amplification and processing isolated from the big, power-hungry amps.

Hope this helps.

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Gonk