Found this on another forum. It has nothing to do with this thread, but it's funny nonetheless.

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Seven

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied. "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike on the ground, took of all her clothes and said, "take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit."

Since you're off-topic anyway...

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Eight

Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is the wrong size!"

Sanjay

Actually, the true engineer would say: "The glass is completely full. It's half-filled with liquid, and half-filled with air."



Jeff

As an engineer (EE type), I know who is full of it!

Paul

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the 1derful1

And as a manager type, I know you probably think it's me!

Jeff

I have nothing against management. Really!

Love it, mean it!

Just the other day at work, we had a site-wide talent/skill contest.

Mr. Physics gave an inspiring lecture on quantum chromodynamics. So many big words, so little understanding.

Ms. Engineering presented a novel design for a multichannel instrumentation and data acquisition subsystem with integral pre-processor DSP that had an interface to the Mr. Coffee machine.

Mr. Administrative Assistant showed a software package that he had been consulted on that takes a voice recording and outputs the desired printed document, whether it be a memo, formal proposal, research paper, or whatever with a minimum of human intervention and in a wide selection of human languages.

The Management candidate presented a rousing and inspiring talk on employee motivation, touching on important topics such as layoffs, pay cuts, division consolidation and liquidation, the need for exemplary executive compensation and benefits. The new Mercedes. A most motivating presentation.

After all the presenters were finished, the panel of distinguished judges made their decision.

Miss Management had once again dominated (decimated) the corporate culture, putting all of the workers in their places.

Which is the unemployment line.

Paul

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the 1derful1

[This message has been edited by Paul J. Stiles (edited May 24, 2003).]

Paul,

Believe me, I hear you. I'm not a manager at the moment, actually, because a "wonderful" computer corporation laid me off. It took me a year and a quarter to find another job with a 33% pay cut.

I'm not that kind of manager. I'm the kind of manager who says, "Let's skip the blamethrowing, folks, and try to figure out how to solve this problem." I'm the kind of delusional manager who thinks employees actually do a better job when they're happy.

Jeff


[This message has been edited by D'Arbignal (edited May 26, 2003).]

"I'm the kind of delusional manager who thinks employees actually do a better job when they're happy."

Jeff, how quaint. How in the heck do you expect to get to "golden parachute" status with an attitude like that?

So much of upper management has such a greedy "l'etat, c'est moi" attitude it sickens me. HP, American Airlines are recent examples. Upper management only cares about themselves and employees are only incidental. They brag about how many thousands of workers they dumped and the business commmunity in general applauds them.

I use to be concerned as to where a product was made. If there was a U.S. made equivalent,(not likely in the audio equipment unless you are in the high-end market) and it did not cost a whole lot more, I would go for the U.S. made product. I do expect to pay more for U.S. made, after all, my fellow American workers should not be expected to work for third world wages.

With so many companies screwing over their workers, their shareholders, and their customers just to give big rewards to upper management (who are NOT as essential they like to think of themselves), I will have to make an even more informed choice in my purchases: where was the product made/designed and what is the attitude of the people who run the company.

So many companies want to import workers to fill job vacancies (and who are willing to work for lower wages, less benefits and less security) I say why not import upper management type from overseas and save some money there, too. Heck, while we're at it, lets import political leaders, too. So many of our political leaders seem to be in the pockets of big business.

Off of soapbox now!

Paul

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the 1derful1

editt two ficks spel missteak

[This message has been edited by Paul J. Stiles (edited May 25, 2003).]

Exactly. My parachute was bronze, but I'm sure glad I had it. If they hadn't given it to me, I would have had no choice but to sue them ... which is of course why they give them at all. They certainly don't do it out of the kindness of their hearts, because they don't have hearts.




That's a really good philosophy, and I like it!

Regarding the necessity of management, whenever I get too arrogant, I would ask myself: could my direct reports do their job without me? Could I do my job without them?

Management adds value, but without the workers, management is absolutely useless. Therefore, my priority was and always will be, make the employees happy. If they like what they're doing, they'll do more of it.



Heh. Michael Moore made a similar suggestion and I think it's right on the money.

Of course, you know why the lower level guys get laid off but the higher level ones don't? Because the higher level ones are the ones making the decision! ("Well, I'm obviously not going to lay myself off, so who else can I get rid of?")

Jeff

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