There doesn't have to be a flag for EX for you to turn it on. You should be able to push the DD button on the remote to cycle through the Dolby modes -- including EX if the 950 is receiving a 5.1 digital signal. (EX will not be listed if the track is 2.0, because the EX processing requires discrete surround channels to operate.)
If you have the digital cable box connected to the 950 using a digital audio cable but still can't see EX as an option, change inputs and switch back to cable and see what the 950's display says when it re-acquires the signal. Odds are that it will say "DOLBY D" in the top right corner and "2.0" in the bottom right, indicating that the program has a Dolby 2.0 soundtrack attached to it. In that case, your best bet is probably to switch to Pro Logic II and enable CES -- this will take the 2.0 signal, produce a 5.1 signal, and then extract a surround back signal from the surrounds to get you to 6.1. You can also use Neo6 to create a 6.1 signal from a stereo input; most people seem to prefer Pro Logic II over Neo6, but you can certainly experiment with it a bit. As I mentioned, I use PL2 and CES with all of my TV watching.
All of this is dependent on a digital audio connection, as stott pointed out above. If you are using analog audio cables, you can't use Dolby Digital processing at all (EX or otherwise).
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